No Love In This Elevator
Around the world, Road Rage has been officially recognized by the Psychological community (I mean, I assume it has …), but to this day, I still wonder why Elevator Rage hasn’t received the psychological stamp of approval (or whatever those guys do in their lab coats once they’ve discovered some new social dysfunction by probing people with sticks).
Taking the elevators in the Viacom building where I work 9 out of 10 times is an excruciating experience. The lack of etiquette and practical thought and the superabundance of people compels me to hold back every instinct I have to murder everyone around me.
I can’t stab fast enough. First off, 5-6 people in an elevator maximum! What is wrong with you people, I don’t care if this is New York and you’re used to being invaded, anything more is intruding my personal space and is completely unacceptable and uncivilized.
I love it when there’s 9-10 people in an elevator car, yet instead of waiting for one of the 6 other cars that will shortly arrive with a little patience, a gaggle of Viacom employees will waddle aboard without any concern for those sardines already jammed inside.
The astounding lack of concern for personal space disturbs me to no end. I’m not a germaphobe or a hypochondriac in the least; I just don’t want your smelly ass so close to me, is that so hard to fucking grasp?
Still, no matter what, the mindless drones board the ship two by two like it’s the only ark in town. It drives me nuts. This is my subtle campaign for other Viacom employees taking the elevators. Have some respect for your fellow man and don’t stuff yourself into elevators. Your job is likely very lax and you’re likely not in a hurry and look, the cheese fries aren’t lgoing anywhere in the cafeteria.
Calm down, deep breath!
I should talk. When I’m somehow trapped in an elevator with a surplus of co-workers and co-people, I just want to snap. I have a physical reaction and sometimes I think I’m going to faint from being so annoyed and put-out.
It’s awful. I get off early if I have to, it’s just irrational behavior. WAIT FOR THE NEXT CAR FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!
*How the hell do you turn these stupid Friendster notices off that i SPECIFICALLY had unchecked when i started this thing? Desperate for hits, huh Friendster? Thanks for nothing.
November 16th, 2005 at 6:26 pm
I LOVE IT.
November 30th, 2005 at 7:48 am
the two things that really, really annoy me on the elevators are:
* the self-centered idiots that think EVERYONE else on the elevator wants to hear whatever song happens to be playing on their iPod at that moment. there’s a reason MUZAK isn’t around anymore — people don’t want their personal audio space to be intruded upon.
* people who stand in front of the doors and don’t move out of the way when others need to get off. like, 6 people want off at 20 and he’s not getting off until 31, so he stands there, smack dab in the middle of the exit and everyone has to push past. idjits.
November 30th, 2005 at 12:09 pm
I feel you, and I raise you Kimora Lee Simmons stinking up my work elevator once a week.
December 23rd, 2008 at 11:51 am
Nice Article. Keep up The Good work.
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